BYE 2013: HELLO 2014!!!

Last post is kind of too sad...too sad I shouldn't have posted it.

Oh well,,let me start off where I ended with the *finally* post.

That post was blown out of proportion. Especially the am in love part.
So let's get a couple of things sweet super clear..

1.just cause Jaykie thinks am in love does not mean I think so too...or that I really am.

Great.Now its gonna sound like am denial.

2.I did mention the person is question was totally wrong to fall for.yes?
Haven't I always been known to do the right thing? Idk why anyone would think I would do otherwise

Anyways,,any of that ain't important anymore.
Love things confuse me too much for me to try to explain.

The year 2013 is to me equivalent to the year 2009. I will have you remember that 2009 was my best year at college. okay,enough said.

2014
*I hope I live up to the dream version of myself.
*I hope I maintain inner peace when I find all that am looking for.
*I hope God never gives up on me. :(

It's going to be my year of Gracious Opportunities.

Resolutions
I See people going all,*I don't make new years resolutions....some add anymore at the end...in my mind am like,yah,that was me at some point in life; aimless.
But that's Not my problem.

I am the type to make resolutions.
I wanna know what I want to achieve other than just stumble into it.

Of course though, I don't post all my resolutions here or anywhere else come to think of it. They are for me and God alone.

But the ones we all might wanna cross check
1. Know God more. I wanna get rid of my spiritual immaturity.

2.Fellowship with the Holy Ghost to a greater height

3. Love God and myself much more.

Does that sound like all my resolutions are God centred? Okay,great.They are. I have learnt,that when my relationship with God is good,things just automatically go great.that simple logic that makes me just wanna seek him more and know He will work on me.

Simply also cause He is the centre of my existence.

'Seek Ye first the kingdom of God and the rest will follow'

2014 seems like the year I start building up on the foundation laid in 2013.

So yes,,I want to b a better person,be much nicer,,be an exemplary Christian,,I want to learn and Not make the same mistakes made in the past years.I want much.and all that,i will achieve through Him who strengthens Me.

My financial resolutions and you will scream No.so al keep to myself.ey r that grand.

Highlights of ths year in pics...I admit I did a hazy job of t last year but its cause I was in a rush,didn't have that many pics.allow.

This year though,we have so many pics a had trouble choosing.I chose some and still they were many.

Nb:The pics look good on a pc.

Three quarters of the pics below I took myself,or I was there when t was taken.the rest I asked for,& bless these peoples hearts,ey never asked what they were for.Smh.

Okay,,major moments....

I turned 21....its liberating...!!!! And then mind blowing,,am getting old..and so far am yet to do something people remember me for.the footprint in the sands of time is Yet to be made.

Graduations!! Yes!! With an S!!I graduated..my big family came...See pics.. Aggie my love graduated!!! We didnt graduate together like we always planned to,but See pics also. Kumbu graduated!!!! We didn't graduate together also... But Divine,my favorite in_law ryt now was there...check pics...

3.Christmas event at RFP...I love my RFP family so much.my pastor is simply God sent and I have grown so much from every member. Was in the Christmas service organisation committee..am yet to serve in a better place.it was sooo much fun! I loved it and the service itself.

4. Went to the lake twice ths yr.. shd go more this year...and both times,I had super fun!!
5.staying wf mum and dad....the best parents in the world. I love them dearly.
Seriously,,There is too much to post....al tel in 2014... This post is too long.

Okay,the Pics below are of the beautiful people in my life.in different ways they make up the person I am. I love em all.
Ps. Emmanuel and a couple of people are suspiciously missing on the collages. I love em still,I just don't have that many pics of them.

& some people,well...their pics being on here would just be too controversial we don't need that in 2014. I would put em here otherwise.

Thank you all for the pieces of me you take care of, and May 2014 be the best year you have ever had in Christ Jesus Name.

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!!!!

It's confusing enough to b a woman,Then comes Confusing feelings

Ithink am too conflicted.
It's just a thought,but to b honest am scared of lots of stuff right now.
At a point I realise so much about myself, most of which I do Not know how to take.

I don't expect anyone to understand this.
It bothers me so much tho,it has to be noted.

You ever loved someone so much,they were your everything?
That love that consumed ur very soul.
U Wud do practically do everything to just b wif them.
When ey come first,dignity,pride,friends,and yes, family come second?
It's Not quite an obsession,but its something close.
It's hurting when they do,and happy when they are.
Ecstatic is the feeling when u just the two of you and doing nothing and loving it.
Words fail me.
That person who u convinced is the love of your life..& u knw ul never love anyone else the way u do them.

I loved X.(let's call him that).
Dangerously in love was my tune.
And I loved er moment of it.and him.

Now.....
I have to imagine that feeling.
To write down the above,I had to imagine it.
To remember it.
Coz for one reason Nd another,I don't feel that way anymore.
I don't know when it happened.
But here I am,and the mention of his name does nun to my heart.
I have seen him once on the streets,and he's like,oh well,some gorgeous being.
But that's all.
No heart flutter...no longing to call out for him.
Again,words fail me right now.
It ain't like am numb.or I hate him.
In fact,I was happy to hear sm gud news of him.that's Not numb ryt? Or z t?
I don't hate him,he loved me like nobody ever did.
Av owez believed u determine how u feel...against the old time favourite,u can't help how u feel.
But right now,am Not sure wat I want to feel.

Do I b glad to be over such destructive love?
It doesn't feel like victory.
Do I b sad for the loss of something great,once in a lifetime phenomenal?
For some reason,its Not sad its done with.

But all that brings me to my misery.
Was it love if it cud vanish like that?
What's that say about me if am able to feel like this of a person I claimed to have loved so much?
It's surreal.
It scares me.
The sands of time phrase keeps coming in mind.
Am Not sad...bt nor am I happy.and I need to b one of those to gt past this hazy feeling.

I keep asking myself silly questions yah...
Beatrice,do u love x? Answer is yes.but merely as someone whose life was entwined with me at one point.nothing more.

I explained to Eve,and she agreed with me,its scary.and maybe a little dissapointing.

I See lots of people tweeting and going on about how they would wanna get over someone.

I seriously never planned on doing that,bt I was so excited when I noticed that was what was happening.

But the end? The end is so disgusting.

If X can b unloved.No one stands a chance.sounds corky,bt its true.I know it,er1 close to me knows it.& that's js a sad fact am tryna get around.

*Lord,I believe in you.& know am being scared over nothing.*

Finally!

Hie......

I know..It’s been long. Was trying to find the words.

Am not sure I did. But here I am, with so much to say, so little vocabulary to use.

For starters, I have managed to live up to my new year’s resolutions.

1. To stop social networking....I did for three months :)

2. To be more humble........... I can’t imagine being anything else now. am sure i can improve, but I am better off on this score than i was last year.

3. Meet new people.... I forgot about this one, but when I went back and checked, i discovered I done did it without noticing.. Yes, I know a couple new great people...and I aint crazy about the #NoNewFriends thing as much as other people even though I Love my old friends just fine.

4. Get out of my comfort zone.... I went over the top with this one. Wasn’t so easy at first, but then I sorta dived into it and it just started being normal being a whole new me. 

So basically, I ACED MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS!!!! Done did It.

Need to come up with better ones in 2014 though. No need to undo these ones though, they are fiiiinnnnee.

Okay, I haven’t posted my gala pics..eish. 

That means I havent recorded that am in BT yet right.

Heck, there’s so much to write about.

And Oh, Jaykie came home and came up to this conclusion: Am in Love.

Freaked the hell out of me.

Like how in the world? 

Okay, I get her reasoning and all... and am not scared of falling in Love. But I am scared of falling in love with the wrong person. And that's what’s happening. Of course I laughed it off, okay; it is sorta amusing this is happening. It’s like cupid is playing a sick joke on me for being too judgmental on most girls. And I find it funny considering who we talking about here… But Damn! He makes me happy!

It’s just a matter of knowing what’s right and what’s not and ofcoz heading the right direction even if it means wrenching my whole heart right about now.

Okay, I have to say this, my spiritual life is good. I avoid saying this when it is not so good.

But at this very moment, am confident of His Grace over me and of my heritage.

This is no irrelevant at this point. But I lost a friend...Wanangwa Sanga.

I was so sad when I heard of his passing.. Even more because it was in an accident.

It’s hard to accept his loss, but am comforted. He has gone to the better place.

He fought a good fight. And surely it is precious in the Lords eyes.

Psalms 116:15>>>Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.

I will definitely Miss him. And I can’t wait to meet up in heaven and dance together again: will we dance for Him? Or will we, in awe of Jesus, just be still. *I can only imagine*

I have lots to write. I stopped writing in my diary ages ago it’s sad..the way I used to do it every day though.

Lord have Mercy, Christ have Mercy...On my soul.

Am almost done with the Benny Hinn books I have been reading. I will tell you one thing,  my life will never been the same. I read *Good Morning Holy Spirit and I thought it was the best book I ever read second only from the bible...Only to read *Kathryn Kluhman-how she touched my life...and oh, something in me just shifted. I read *Getting to know the Holy Spirit. I feel like I have been spiritually starved for long...Am now reading *The Blood. And This I tell you, is the best book I ever read.. Ever.

Did I mention I have so much to write about?

Okay...

Have you ever thought like you have lost someone even when they are still alive?

When their spirit is gone and they do not want to fight and you feel hopeless because even though you have faith, you need them to also want to have hope?

I can relate to the *Hope is all we have* phrase.

Like, we are not assured of anything are we? We can lose everything in a single second.

I choose to think this way though, *we can gain everything in a single second.*

God is all I have.

B.E.A.

UNABLE ARE THE LOVED TO DIE...

We are all not going to live forever
Not in this world anyway
If there is one certain thing in this world then it is that we all going to die.

As certain as this is, death is something we never get used to.
We can have someone we know dying every three months and it still comes as a shock.

This is for Hope Mfune. I prayed to God to save your life the day before you passed away. I had tears in my eyes because somehow deep down i knew i was late. You were so young and i should have done better by you. It is the only time in my life I ever felt my faith had let me down. Rest in Peace dear cousin. You are dearly loved....

This is for Rachel Chingola. Rest in Peace Rachel.
I still remember the day you left for Lilongwe with Eve. The last thing i worried about was having you gone for good but it should have. Eve has no sister now, and we might all try, and we do, but you were and always will be her one and only sister. You are loved....

This is for Mr. Jeremiah Sato. I found a job now sir like you said i should. And i work hard. I still remember the way you said easy thing come and go, and hence i should learn to find a job on my own. In my opinion, Yours is a life and legacy worthy celebrating. Rest in peace till then. You are loved....

This is for Sheilas dad, Mr Kumbweza. you are legendary and you raised a great daughter. She is the most loving creature i know. Shes not a good girl, but she will be a great woman. You lived and loved, hence we celebrate your life. You are loved....

This is for all the people whose lives were lost in the Kenyan westgate mall attack. I do not understand how some people can be so evil to kill so many innocent people for any reason. I cannot imagine the nightmares this leaves to the survivors. The gaps left in the families. Dear Lord please send your spirit to comfort the ones left behind.Rest In Peace.. You are loved....

Unable are the Loved to die
For Love is Immortality,
Nay, it is Deity --

Unable they that love -- to die
For Love reforms Vitality
Into Divinity.
~Emily Dickinson~

SBF

Have you ever had that sickening feeling like you are the ugly duckling in your circle of friends?
Okay, good... I have never had it!
*lol!
I just know though that i have what we call 'SBF's..
Sickeningly Beautiful Friends...
I am someones SBF too so i have no problem with it.
*Totally Random thoughts*

Okay,so lately i have been doing some weird things.
Like really weird
First, its almost a month now and no, i still have not activated my twitter or facebook accounts.
I could not stay away from Whatsapp though, it is really pretty convenient and less hussle.

And i did a couple other things i really have never had the courage to. *Good things.

so, things i have learnt in the past few days said in a somewhat different manner
# is for who said it better
*where he said it

#you learn more about yoself when you lose; #Johnathan kent *Smallville.. I Lost and i learnt.

#am not oblivious,just trusting. strong enough to take risks with my emotions; #Clark kent *Smallville- Its like, closing a door when you do not know what the next one holds. #Chris Brown *Say goodbye

#Past is always influencing the present. I cant change that, i can only understand it: #Lex Luthor *Smallville- and learn the things that have made me a better lady. (Not a girl, not yet a woman #youKnowThisOne *wink)

#A weakness is not something you are born with,you learn it. Am going to have to unlearn most stuff.

#There is a lot of strength in weakness,a lot of truth in lies,,

I just told a story, and i hope you all understand it. am finding it hard to express myself these days... There was always facebook and twitter to do that on, and i did not know how much of my life i put out there up until i was on this break. But here we are :) Happy and content. am not sure i want to ask for more.

one more..

I have lost a lot, and learnt a lot...#Pitbull *feel This Moment

I have to go,

Love lots!

*Keep calm and carry on? no thanks i'd rather raise hell and change the world!!* #Bea...

MARRIAGE

Trust Zimbabwe not to be on the list of numbers of GMail texts you can send to...*Unimpressed!
(Am not explaining that)

So, lets talk boys today... Some one accused me of avoiding the topic so much.
Well, here we are

Uhm, i think am gonna end up one of those really hard working, rich and beautiful single women.
Yes, the likes of Oprah, and the rest in her league.
ps: i am hardworking, hence will be rich and i am beautiful, dont need nobody to tell me that.

I am 21, but in my 21 years, i am yet to be impressed with the institution of marriage.

I was raised in a christian well grounded family.
My mum and dad adored me, and they love me to pieces to date, am just a hair away from being smothered.
In fact, i had what we can call a happy childhood surrounded by a huge family
(There were problems, & there are still are, but i would not trade my family for anything in the world, and that loyalty does not just come from nowhere i tell you.)

Still though, in my experience, i am yet to find that one thing why a woman would want and willingly push for marriage. It just plain puzzles me.

Maybe its the maternal instincts that just start kicking in when you are turning into a woman (Adopt!)
But mostly, i feel its the companionship.
Women want to feel loved, and cared for. To have that one person you can call your own.
That person you can do everything with, laugh with all the days of your life.
Someone to be a part of you.

Trust me, I want all that! I want it all! I sincerely and undeniably do.

And if marriage presented just that, i would have been married by now, just when i turned 21.
Am not joking. I have a mind of my own when it comes to what i want.

Only, men have different views when joining marriage.
I am not going to speculate on what those are. Whatever they are.
I just feel, they are different from us.

Hence the high rate of divorces.
Hence the anguish, sadness and often disappointments that are asociated with marriage.

I do not trust i have seen a man who has never cheated.
And when i have, i trust the woman has always suspected that he is and is always on her marks ready for him to do so.

I know i sound way bitter about this.
But you have to understand this:
Men own women.
No matter who has more money or more potential to have other options whatever.
Simple fact remains.
Even if you are a modern woman, sophisticated, classy..whatever word you want to use.
They is about little to nothing you can do to stop your man from cheating. (I hate being hopeless)

And when your man cheats on you, am telling you, Its not worth all the romantic things he ever did.
Its not worth all the lovely texts, status updates he ever made for you. In fact its worse.
It*pardon my french* Fucking Hurts!

You feel like not waking up, and you never want to face the world.
I cant explain it.
i rarely cry, like, its just not me to cry over anything like most women which i really find nice.
But at this time, i wouldn't cry,no(My pride would never let me), but i wish i would.
Because the way the heart feels is not right.

Seriously, am doing an impossible task and not even doing it right, trying to explain a heart break.

And this is just when you are still young, have no kids to think about and can get someone else in a second(Oh yah, i mean that literally, only these thoughts rarely cross your mind at that moment)

So imagine when you are married. When really, a lot of factors are involved.
Kids, parents, relatives, property and i mean, this is literary everything.

Men think marriage is a trap for them...
I find that amusing.

I do no want to be trapped especially if the odds are that much against me.

But this is the world, we never know what is going to happen.
This is just how i feel now...
Eish,,looong post!
See why i do not wanna talk boys? smh...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGGIE

I know I have been watching a little too much TV when i finally get the wonga loans advert from RSA
(It is a lame advert some how and i did not get it for a while till now)

well,am trying to blog using my phone,its Not fun..Atleast now i know its possible though.

I feel like tweeting about everything :( I miss twitter just a little.

Its Agies bday..

I love that girl to pieces..and my fb status and all tweets would have been about her.

That girl is the sweetest most darling person in my life and I love her.

In my worst moments,she was there and never judged me.
In fact, she loved me at a time I didn't exactly like myself.
there is maybe no one who has loved me like she has in the time I have known her.
she is my personal heaven sent.

well,did I mention I have Not talked to Agie this whole day? I will call her tonyt
But I bet she does not like me so much now, but I dearly love her sweet heart that really believes that I can forget her birthday

I miss you Aggie,and I hope you had the best day today..because I can Not mention one person who deserves it than u do
 thanks for being my best friend,my sister and mostly,the person I can always run to.

when I pray tonight,it will be to thank God for this girl.
I know it might sound like am exagerrating all ths,but you have never been in situations I have, and have never felt how calm you cam get with this girl on your side.

if i(This is where i stopped yesterday and i start from hereon, because typing on the phone is a hussle i tell you)

So i did call Agie, and told her how much i loved her... Girl was a little tipsy(Yes, am snitching on you!)
But i love her poor soul all the same :)

Well, i have to go, close this post before it becomes too long and too boring
Later!xxx

TWITTER, FACEBOOK AND WHATSAPP

I do not know what it is about our generation that makes us want to document every moment of our poorly spent lives.

If you are from my generation, can you imagine living the best ever moment in your life without wanting to tweet or update a status about it?

I cannot. I simply cant.

I figure on average, i make about 10tweets a day which is pretty much describing my whole day in 140 characters times 10.

Well, lets put that in past tense. I used to make.

You got it right, am off twitter.

And trust me, its not because i feel Twitter is bad. In fact i recomend it.

Ok,  rushed into that. The point i been trying to make all along was that, am off social networking sites. And by that, i only mean Twitter, Facebook and Whatsapp. Am still here, so no point. But i deactivated my accounts in those three.

But wait...i find three great things about these apps when i was in this process, about 3-4 days ago.

1. I could archive all my tweets from when i started tweeting (April 2011 i believe) and i did. Its crazy..I cannot stop laughing every time i try to go through them. 

2. Oh wait, i can archive my Facebook statuses and messages from when i started as well (from the first status in April 2009)...Now ofcourse i did archive and it has been hilarious going through all this. So see? Documentation aint so bad, if only to look back and see what we used to write and were thinking at some moment when we were young. Imagine, i was as young as 16 in some of my updates.

3. Finally...Twitter and Facebook people are working so hard to keep us online....but wait for it...

When i was deactivating my Twitter account, a thing i have never done before since i started so i have only just discovered this... They went like;Is this goodbye?

Are you sure you don't want to reconsider? Was it something we said? Tell us.

Almost made me change my mind...lol

Facebook on the other hand gives you the the five top people you interact with there and goes all, like mine was Aggie, Aggie is going to miss you(With Aggies profile picture on it ofcourse) and asks you if you want to send Aggie is a message. I Love all that. I do!! But i still deactivated and it went like; Your account has been deactivated. To reactivate your account, log in using your old login email and password. You will be able to use the site like you used to.We hope you come back soon.

Well, i was not planning on getting back anytime soon, but surely, i will re-consider...

Enough said about that...

And today i just want to talk about living in the moment.

If there is one thing in my life i have adhered to, is to enjoy every precious moment.

Maybe 'enjoy' is not the right word, but maybe savour? appreciate every moment you are in for it will never come back in time.

I do not know how to explain that further, so i hope you get the point, because that's where i stop.

On general stuff and updates, i might finally start living on my own...*shivers* Its scary..

Working on getting my driving licence...High time that happened eish..

Work is okay..demanding as usual..and me loving it as usual...

Now i have to go...but before i do...please visit this page www.diaryofazulugirl.co.za and if you are not hooked, I owe you 500 bucks, I promise... You can claim...

God can do exceedingly, abundantly and above all we can ever ask for a thing this day!

B-Trix!

MONDAY BLUES

This post is going to make sense..whatever it takes...

Got to work today, and i have never been so down.
Been in headsets the whole day
Listening to one song really... Home by Jay Sean
I do not relate to the song
I just like how slow it is, and the talent displayed
It resonates my mood.

I hate moody people,so i hope am not turning into one.

Okay, from the beginning....

Some guy has the nerve to lie to someone dear to me.
And i backed him up.Unintentionally ofcourse.
See, i did not know.
That makes me super mad.
But that`s not my story to tell even though it started my nightmare

Then of course i went to twitter to talk to myself about it..*dont laugh.
Then some person completely gets the wrong idea am talking about him
Okay, so the shoe fit him perfectly, and i was not talking about him.
I could not care less if he lied to me or not, that is how much i do not care about this being.
But then it became an issue and brought me back to the single subject i try not to blog about;
Boys.

I do not understand the need for boys to have more than they already have.
I am not generalizing.
If you are happy and love your girlfriend, am proud of you.And may you stay blessed.

Is it so hard to be satisfied with one person though?

All that bothered me cause it reminded me of stuff i would rather not be reminded about.

Then i started re-thinking everything.
All my relationships with boys...
Came to one conclusion.
I once made a mistake, and i would do anything not to do it again.

I Like/Liked one guy...
But i do not think he likes/liked m back enough.
For the life in me, i do not understand why i like/liked him.
But heck! It happened...Best thing is to.........???
I dont know!

Am smiling...
Am thinking about him.
Thats always a bad sign...*shaking My head...
Oh, and yes, he is single..
I do not like other peoples boyfriends.
Girls take note.
*Leave the already taken ones

6Billion+ people in the world and you of course' fall in love' with the one already taken? Thats just.....*Unresonable

I guess, its either he meets me halfway...or we can just forget this ever happened.
Am posting a love letter next...
Feeling INSPIRED!
(Feel much better now :) )
I refuse to be a sad, or heartbroken or bitter girl.
I always choose to be happy.
And i now choose to be happy

So in unrelated news,i wish my two girls, Sheila and Aggie could come to Lz.
I cannot wait to have them around...

I easily divert from the issue at hand..

Still growing...
B*e*a...

THREE WEEKS LATER....

Its been long...

Lots has happened

I have another blog, did i mention that?
Well, its a christian blog.

www.5minutesessions.blogspot.com

But i have been sooo busy lately to update any of the two blogs..sadly so.

Work has been too demanding... Still love it though.

Well, whats new?
Uhmm...a lot.
Am 21!!! Finally turned 21 on the 21st of July. You can imagine the excitement.
Thanks to lots of people, i had a wonderful day starting from the 20th to the 22nd...

Kate, my boss and all my workmates made me a cake.(I dont eat cake, but it was the thought that counted.)

Then there is some thing bothering me.
And i should pray about it. I should. That thought just crossed my mind right now when i was writing.
It should have done so a fortnight ago because its when it all started.
But anyway, late is better than never yes? Prayer it is!

Ever had everything but one thing and that is the only thing you wanted?
Am hopping its okay to ask for more when i have it all.

This will not make sense.

I just dont look like the girl who has it all yah?lol

Well, when i do get what am asking for then i will have it all.
But if there is one thing that i have learnt in my 21 years in this world
Its that, one never gets it all.
The moment you get what you so much want,
There is always something else at the back of your mind to take its place.
So really, i just wish i cross this off on the top list as of now.
We will deal with the rest when it comes.

Over all though, i am a happy child.
I miss my mum..and dad...
otherwise, am fine in LLz.
And have not thought about going back to BTz in the past 2weeks :)
Lie. I think about it at least once every day...
BTz- That`s home.

Till next time..
Lets hope i do not take as long as i did the last time to write.
Spread the love,,
Kisses!!!!!!

Signed: Tionge!!!!

HAIR DO!

Its easy to make a mistake.
So easy in fact, that`s the reason we make mistakes.
So, i would like to brag that am not scared of making mistakes,
But nah, i have made enough mistakes to last me a lifetime
The least i need are more mistakes
But its when you can live without them that you continuously make them
So you can relate the quandary am in yes?
Like most times, this post is not really going to make much sense
So maybe i should start writing about stuff that does... :)
Stuff we can all relate to and are easily explainable

So, Pictures, Pictures, Pictures!!

I hate this hairstyle...but i do not have the time to sit down to do my all time favorite, Long tiny braids...Gosh,how i miss that! But anyways,that`s that..Next will be the centres pics (I know, i keep saying that,lol)

Gotta go, LoveMe.com

Best trips 2013- National Geographic *My comment

Best Trips 2013 -- National Geographic

In the link, you will find that, Malawi, my country is the seventh best destination for this year. I couldn't be more proud of this recognition.

Otherwise, i feel its been a long time coming.

Still, i love National Geographic for finally getting it. Malawi is amazingly beautiful..

Am telling my boss, Kate, from England, that i would not want to travel anywhere else in the world except for my own country..So unless i go through all this beauty(which i doubt would happen), the only reason am going outside are for love, work and well, love..lol.

Otherwise, why leave all this beauty behind? What would i be searching for in the other countries?

Yea yea,,i can be pretty royal about my country sometimes.

But you have to understand, my country's beauty is second to none, why the hell not?

(Totally avoiding mentioning how much work needs to be done in the tourism industry of this country though)

Thank you Lord for this amazing country yo let me born into...I appreciate it so much.

B*e*a*

My relationships-My blog

I haven't always had the best relationships.
Friends, family, boyfriends
Its one of those things i always wish i could have done better.
According to myself, am too caring... and not having the best relationships hurt me the most

I would like to think i know better now than i did before.

Like i was explaining to Ray Ray yesterday, i know what i want in every relationship now
Which turns out to be a good thing and a bad thing at the same time.
My relationship with God is the most important relationship in my life
And if i ever fell from that,all my relationships would mean nothing

I am close with my mother in a weird manner. Not that we share all secrets or even any for that matter.
But would it make sense if i said i am in sync with her?
She is most probably the most important person in my life

I now have friends that i feel comfortable with to open up to
It would be a lie to say i tell someone all my darkest secrets though

I do not want to talk boys
They are not on my top list right now

Its one of those things i feel am a fake..
Like people tend to see a different side of me that does not even exist
And at times, i say, its not like i told them to see me as such
and as long as they do not see my insecurities, what do i care?
As long as God knows the real me.

Lately though, it does seem to matter.
I have got some 'strangers now turned friends' say i have an attitude
Actually someone just told me that yesterday
well, it was so cool to have an attitude at college....*i think
I dont know, it just sorta happened..
But am a very nice and an approachable person.
And if am not, that is what am going to try to be

I do believe my life and relationships would be better if the real me was unveiled though
Is that not the cry we all voice out while cowardly still hiding behind the facade?

Enough said for today..
My advice; You have not cared enough if you have stopped caring.
Its okay to voice out your insecurities, as long as they do not become all you talk about.
(Though i do not suppose am voicing out mine anytime soon.)

I believe God will do away with my insecurities
In fact, am counting on it...!

NO MORE YOU

(This one is written to impress Sheila but not dedicated to her,or anyone for that matter,so chill loverz,)

NO MORE YOU

I miss times i loved you..

I miss times when i would miss you

When a call from you would make my heart skip a beat

Sadly its just not there anymore

I never realized just how real that was

Quite never understood why i felt so for you

I wonder how it felt to have me wrapped around your finger

I bet it was a good story for your boys?

But baby that's all its ever going to be, a Good story.

For you, are no more.

In my life, are just a dot.

The Story continues.

ABORT? YES? NO?

I learnt something really interesting...Did you know, there is this vegetable, common in Malawi village households and you find it almost everywhere, that when you eat and try to abort, the abortion does not go through. No matter what. Am going to give out five of these vegetables, and its one of them...If you want to abort, you should probably steer clear of them..Gosh am learning so much about wildlife here..so its one of these;

a.ntapasha

b.chitsotso

c.bonongwe

d.khwanya

e.Kholowa

p.s: I am totally against abortion! Do not Kill!!!!!!so, you should probably take all these vegetables just to be sure

The pictures i have posted are my favourite spots at the centre. I know! weird...

 One would think it would be Lioness...or the leopard..r the prenty animals yah?

 No...i thought about it...The Lingadzi river amazes me...Its beautiful from here...and the sound the river makes? Wonderful!!! And then there is some spot that says Kids only,,adults to go only when escorted by kids...I mean, how many times do you get to see that irony? I wont tell what the secret circle is though...

well,i will post some more pics when i get them,,xcially of the animals...so get back here some time and you will find them...xxx

He Did It!

Hey,

Long time hey?

Well,in the long time i been gone..Lots has happened.
But it can all wait! I got a job!
Its exciting and basically feels like it was meant for me...
I prayed to God for this...and am not ashamed to say He did for Me!
Yes, the Great I Am spread out His grace for me.
*boast in His name*

Well, as am writing, i am the marketing officer of Lilongwe Wildlife Centre
(and up until i was called for interviews, i didn`t even know this world existed)
Its an amazing place!

So, the pluses of my job,,
I get paid to organise events...a.k.a spend money. Who would hate that?
I basically dont need to be in decent clothes..its anything goes...I know!Sounds just like my wardrobe
Then,now and then, we get so many visitors at the centres that there are not enough guides,i get to do the tour..you should come, i will give you the tour.I get to meet different people from different backgrounds..

There is a lot about my work though, that i wil eventually tell in the next posts...
Am yet to find a thing i dont like about this place...But i havent been here for a week even, so yeah..fingers crossed.

I will explain what Lilongwe Wildlife Centre basically does in the next post.
Right now, gotta work...
Oh wait, did i mention, my job comes with A PC and wi_Fi? well, i thought it was obvious...lol! well,i love that too...

Reallllly gottta go!!!
Post pictures soon!!!
xoxo!!

God Did This! He Did it!

INTRODUCING MY FRIENDS….

I promise this is not in any order at all..and of course, Shazz will complain cause if it was, she would have to be on top.So,, shuffle! In alphabetical order

Agie

*Am yet to meet anyone even close to being sweet like Agie.

My description of her: Sweeet definitely…Loving, full of life and maybe she can be less sweet, she is too sweet! She should be sweeter to me though.. :-p

Cici

I did some of the craziest stuff in college under Cynthia’s influence….

The way we two are ghetto sometimes is disturbing!

Emmanuel

*hmmmm….He is going to hate this

My description of him: That person you can almost always count on…I couldn’t have gotten through some of the things at college if it weren’t for him. Plus, he brings out the best in me J Sometimes….Gets me in more trouble than I can get out of… L

Eve

*when I think Eve, I think, Fashion…they are THAT synonymous!lol!

My description of her: Fashion freak, Loving, such a cute ‘kid’ at times, and you can watch a movie with her, and the thing that will stick most is that cool outfit that actress was putting on.

That aside, I love Eves presence…It’s a resonating calmness that I cant compare to.*Off record* I love her crazy weird jokes too

Gloria

*ISL numero uno (According to Maggie..lol)

My description of her: Nice, sweet, loving, adorable…well, fun! Fun! Fun!

Jaykie

*Her Royal majesty!

My description of her: I think Jaykie has royal blood in her somehow. If we had royalty in Malawi, Jaykie would be part of it, or would teach them manners on how to be royalty (Am serious!)

Try living with someone for 2years..if you live with them 2more years,there must be something right you do together. I loved her being m mesho and friend,,for the most part.

Nafe

She is crazy! There is no other word about….

Oh ya,,am talking bwt you Nah! A.k.a Ally Cortez!!!!

Shazz

*Bestfriend..the longest closest friend I have…

My description of her: Loving, Wild, A little evil, Hot, and I seriously think she should have been born with red hair for some reason…that would have been icing on the cake

Song; Party hard/cadillac Interlude feat.Sevyn except the put your lips on me part?

Sheila

*The most unreliable person in my life!

My description of her: When you NEED Sheila to be there, you can definitely be assured she will not be…but when she is, she makes up for all the times she wasn’t. For all the things she knows how to do(Hockey and the like), the girl knows “How to Love”

Symon

May he be blessed ten times over. Love Symon!

Tassie

*I really don’t know why we two are friends at all

My description of her: So obsessed with herself..Yes, she is…with me too sometimes. Ok,honestly though, she’s sweet (can’t beat her mum on that score though), and she is so talented (she sings and plays the guitar for me). She has a *porcelain* kind of allure…Handle with care kinda Loveness?

Talasina

*Sweet adorable Talasina

My description of her: Down to earth, sweet, adorable… and amazingly lovely! Am yet to meet someone as down to earth as she is.

Yolande

Gosh! I miss you Yola! Come back to M-dubz…it honestly hasn’t been the same since you left…Please come back!!!

I love my BAJ class of 2012 mates too...ofcourse i have favourites..and in alphabetical order as well; Angella Mkandawire, Blessings Phumisa,Gilbert Moyo, Macmillan Mhone and Mervin Mchenga!

Okay,,I didn’t know I had all these many friends when I started out…and now am remembering some more..so,,those are for next time..I hope next time is soon enough

Lord thank you for the above people and others that I couldn’t mention here at this moment. All those that shape my persona, May He grant you the same love you give me..on top of the love I plan to ravish on you!xx

Gotta go!! Mwaaah!

Open Love letter

I cant wait for you to text me..
Id prefer it if you called..

I cant stop thinking about you..
I know, its so cliche..
But honestly true.

When do i see you again?
If i may?
Can it be this very second?
Cause that is my wish..
To just lay my eyes on you..

Okay, that's a lie..
Not just lay my eyes one you..
Spend some quality time with you.
Get to know you more..
Explore you like the map of Africa.

Why Africa though?
Its beauty is second to none..
Its laid-back position a thing i like

am going to go now
Lest i say things that you are not ready to hear
Things i will assuredly tell you when the time comes
Till then,
Keep reading my open love letter to you

2012: The year the world didnt end...

We are almost done with 2012: The year the world didn't end

It’s all by his grace that we've gotten this far. Nothing to do with our works which are shameful to his name.

So, 2012.Its been a revealing year and a learning moment.

This post will just highlight that.

Mostly, its been a year on the edge. That is perhaps the best description of it.

Always faced with extremes.

Sadly, it was the year most of my friends lost their loved ones, which directly made me sad as well.

May their souls rest in peace.

I finished college. I am going to miss the school environment. So much. But its time to move on.

Four years of staying at college will finally pay off when i get my degree during the graduation.

Cant wait!

Regrets: Missed my best friend  Shazz honeybee...met her a couple of times..except for one time i slept at her place for some days, we weren't really together a lot. I miss her a looooot.xoxo!

The there is Aggie, i didn't get to see a lot like i did last year. But no matter, i love this crazy child a gazzilllion lots!

I  don't know how to summarize 2012, so i chose some pics below to represent my 2012..

This is my great-grandmother... She had her womens guild at church  (Mwano wa CCAP) graduation this year in November i think. I Love her. She taught me how to dance when i was young. I love how she is always happy.

My lil sis Vee and Ree Ree...school was so much fun and a happy place because of their presence. And i love my sister to pieces,,and now that am gone, Ree will take care of her. and gosh, these kids are just fun!!Love you guys.

So that Thandi, my little cousin, and then Zgolo my brother. I love them both and i have seen so much of them this year which was one of my 2012 resolutions cause i used to not meet them a lot. I love my brother so much.

Been at college for 4 years  and the only constant thing there was my roommate Jaykie, she has been for the whole time i was at the college,,and 2012,wow.I said bye to her and i know am gonna miss her..Love you Jay

Simply, my best friend the whole Poly campus this year...My lil fashionista! Evie*Maserati*

www.baj2012class.com

New Year

Its a new year...so you know what that means!!!
New stuff!

well, i know am late...But i was waiting for the Chinese guys to get into the new year as well you know..
Cant have some people still in last year..
They did that like a week ago(or so the newspaper read),so here i am.

This year...
This year i have a lot to learn.
Its my first year out of college
Gotta learn how to make a living..
Working on it..

This year,
i have to learn to be humble.
Now that is...uhm,not easy if you knew me.
Am fine being corky and proud.
Vices i would defend without blinking an eye and win.
Exactly why i have to stop and learn to be humble.
I know they are vices!

Learning to be humble, the good book way..

Staying out of trouble..
which basically means,trying not to be me..

In Btz for a while..should be getting back to LLz anyday...
Haven't taken new pics lately..so i cant post any..
Tryna stop being vain? was i vain??

Here is to being the best i can i be

Here is to another year of learning new things and new people!

New year resolutions?
-Go beyond my comfort zone(I love my comfort zone a lot)
-Meet lots of new people! I need to...Its been since i met new people
-Stop social networks(This one is a fail,I know!!!!)
-.........Thats enough i think

Be a good person perhaps?

Thank Jesus for the way hes set for me..
May i forever walk in His Way..