MARRIAGE

Trust Zimbabwe not to be on the list of numbers of GMail texts you can send to...*Unimpressed!
(Am not explaining that)

So, lets talk boys today... Some one accused me of avoiding the topic so much.
Well, here we are

Uhm, i think am gonna end up one of those really hard working, rich and beautiful single women.
Yes, the likes of Oprah, and the rest in her league.
ps: i am hardworking, hence will be rich and i am beautiful, dont need nobody to tell me that.

I am 21, but in my 21 years, i am yet to be impressed with the institution of marriage.

I was raised in a christian well grounded family.
My mum and dad adored me, and they love me to pieces to date, am just a hair away from being smothered.
In fact, i had what we can call a happy childhood surrounded by a huge family
(There were problems, & there are still are, but i would not trade my family for anything in the world, and that loyalty does not just come from nowhere i tell you.)

Still though, in my experience, i am yet to find that one thing why a woman would want and willingly push for marriage. It just plain puzzles me.

Maybe its the maternal instincts that just start kicking in when you are turning into a woman (Adopt!)
But mostly, i feel its the companionship.
Women want to feel loved, and cared for. To have that one person you can call your own.
That person you can do everything with, laugh with all the days of your life.
Someone to be a part of you.

Trust me, I want all that! I want it all! I sincerely and undeniably do.

And if marriage presented just that, i would have been married by now, just when i turned 21.
Am not joking. I have a mind of my own when it comes to what i want.

Only, men have different views when joining marriage.
I am not going to speculate on what those are. Whatever they are.
I just feel, they are different from us.

Hence the high rate of divorces.
Hence the anguish, sadness and often disappointments that are asociated with marriage.

I do not trust i have seen a man who has never cheated.
And when i have, i trust the woman has always suspected that he is and is always on her marks ready for him to do so.

I know i sound way bitter about this.
But you have to understand this:
Men own women.
No matter who has more money or more potential to have other options whatever.
Simple fact remains.
Even if you are a modern woman, sophisticated, classy..whatever word you want to use.
They is about little to nothing you can do to stop your man from cheating. (I hate being hopeless)

And when your man cheats on you, am telling you, Its not worth all the romantic things he ever did.
Its not worth all the lovely texts, status updates he ever made for you. In fact its worse.
It*pardon my french* Fucking Hurts!

You feel like not waking up, and you never want to face the world.
I cant explain it.
i rarely cry, like, its just not me to cry over anything like most women which i really find nice.
But at this time, i wouldn't cry,no(My pride would never let me), but i wish i would.
Because the way the heart feels is not right.

Seriously, am doing an impossible task and not even doing it right, trying to explain a heart break.

And this is just when you are still young, have no kids to think about and can get someone else in a second(Oh yah, i mean that literally, only these thoughts rarely cross your mind at that moment)

So imagine when you are married. When really, a lot of factors are involved.
Kids, parents, relatives, property and i mean, this is literary everything.

Men think marriage is a trap for them...
I find that amusing.

I do no want to be trapped especially if the odds are that much against me.

But this is the world, we never know what is going to happen.
This is just how i feel now...
Eish,,looong post!
See why i do not wanna talk boys? smh...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGGIE

I know I have been watching a little too much TV when i finally get the wonga loans advert from RSA
(It is a lame advert some how and i did not get it for a while till now)

well,am trying to blog using my phone,its Not fun..Atleast now i know its possible though.

I feel like tweeting about everything :( I miss twitter just a little.

Its Agies bday..

I love that girl to pieces..and my fb status and all tweets would have been about her.

That girl is the sweetest most darling person in my life and I love her.

In my worst moments,she was there and never judged me.
In fact, she loved me at a time I didn't exactly like myself.
there is maybe no one who has loved me like she has in the time I have known her.
she is my personal heaven sent.

well,did I mention I have Not talked to Agie this whole day? I will call her tonyt
But I bet she does not like me so much now, but I dearly love her sweet heart that really believes that I can forget her birthday

I miss you Aggie,and I hope you had the best day today..because I can Not mention one person who deserves it than u do
 thanks for being my best friend,my sister and mostly,the person I can always run to.

when I pray tonight,it will be to thank God for this girl.
I know it might sound like am exagerrating all ths,but you have never been in situations I have, and have never felt how calm you cam get with this girl on your side.

if i(This is where i stopped yesterday and i start from hereon, because typing on the phone is a hussle i tell you)

So i did call Agie, and told her how much i loved her... Girl was a little tipsy(Yes, am snitching on you!)
But i love her poor soul all the same :)

Well, i have to go, close this post before it becomes too long and too boring
Later!xxx

TWITTER, FACEBOOK AND WHATSAPP

I do not know what it is about our generation that makes us want to document every moment of our poorly spent lives.

If you are from my generation, can you imagine living the best ever moment in your life without wanting to tweet or update a status about it?

I cannot. I simply cant.

I figure on average, i make about 10tweets a day which is pretty much describing my whole day in 140 characters times 10.

Well, lets put that in past tense. I used to make.

You got it right, am off twitter.

And trust me, its not because i feel Twitter is bad. In fact i recomend it.

Ok,  rushed into that. The point i been trying to make all along was that, am off social networking sites. And by that, i only mean Twitter, Facebook and Whatsapp. Am still here, so no point. But i deactivated my accounts in those three.

But wait...i find three great things about these apps when i was in this process, about 3-4 days ago.

1. I could archive all my tweets from when i started tweeting (April 2011 i believe) and i did. Its crazy..I cannot stop laughing every time i try to go through them. 

2. Oh wait, i can archive my Facebook statuses and messages from when i started as well (from the first status in April 2009)...Now ofcourse i did archive and it has been hilarious going through all this. So see? Documentation aint so bad, if only to look back and see what we used to write and were thinking at some moment when we were young. Imagine, i was as young as 16 in some of my updates.

3. Finally...Twitter and Facebook people are working so hard to keep us online....but wait for it...

When i was deactivating my Twitter account, a thing i have never done before since i started so i have only just discovered this... They went like;Is this goodbye?

Are you sure you don't want to reconsider? Was it something we said? Tell us.

Almost made me change my mind...lol

Facebook on the other hand gives you the the five top people you interact with there and goes all, like mine was Aggie, Aggie is going to miss you(With Aggies profile picture on it ofcourse) and asks you if you want to send Aggie is a message. I Love all that. I do!! But i still deactivated and it went like; Your account has been deactivated. To reactivate your account, log in using your old login email and password. You will be able to use the site like you used to.We hope you come back soon.

Well, i was not planning on getting back anytime soon, but surely, i will re-consider...

Enough said about that...

And today i just want to talk about living in the moment.

If there is one thing in my life i have adhered to, is to enjoy every precious moment.

Maybe 'enjoy' is not the right word, but maybe savour? appreciate every moment you are in for it will never come back in time.

I do not know how to explain that further, so i hope you get the point, because that's where i stop.

On general stuff and updates, i might finally start living on my own...*shivers* Its scary..

Working on getting my driving licence...High time that happened eish..

Work is okay..demanding as usual..and me loving it as usual...

Now i have to go...but before i do...please visit this page www.diaryofazulugirl.co.za and if you are not hooked, I owe you 500 bucks, I promise... You can claim...

God can do exceedingly, abundantly and above all we can ever ask for a thing this day!

B-Trix!

MONDAY BLUES

This post is going to make sense..whatever it takes...

Got to work today, and i have never been so down.
Been in headsets the whole day
Listening to one song really... Home by Jay Sean
I do not relate to the song
I just like how slow it is, and the talent displayed
It resonates my mood.

I hate moody people,so i hope am not turning into one.

Okay, from the beginning....

Some guy has the nerve to lie to someone dear to me.
And i backed him up.Unintentionally ofcourse.
See, i did not know.
That makes me super mad.
But that`s not my story to tell even though it started my nightmare

Then of course i went to twitter to talk to myself about it..*dont laugh.
Then some person completely gets the wrong idea am talking about him
Okay, so the shoe fit him perfectly, and i was not talking about him.
I could not care less if he lied to me or not, that is how much i do not care about this being.
But then it became an issue and brought me back to the single subject i try not to blog about;
Boys.

I do not understand the need for boys to have more than they already have.
I am not generalizing.
If you are happy and love your girlfriend, am proud of you.And may you stay blessed.

Is it so hard to be satisfied with one person though?

All that bothered me cause it reminded me of stuff i would rather not be reminded about.

Then i started re-thinking everything.
All my relationships with boys...
Came to one conclusion.
I once made a mistake, and i would do anything not to do it again.

I Like/Liked one guy...
But i do not think he likes/liked m back enough.
For the life in me, i do not understand why i like/liked him.
But heck! It happened...Best thing is to.........???
I dont know!

Am smiling...
Am thinking about him.
Thats always a bad sign...*shaking My head...
Oh, and yes, he is single..
I do not like other peoples boyfriends.
Girls take note.
*Leave the already taken ones

6Billion+ people in the world and you of course' fall in love' with the one already taken? Thats just.....*Unresonable

I guess, its either he meets me halfway...or we can just forget this ever happened.
Am posting a love letter next...
Feeling INSPIRED!
(Feel much better now :) )
I refuse to be a sad, or heartbroken or bitter girl.
I always choose to be happy.
And i now choose to be happy

So in unrelated news,i wish my two girls, Sheila and Aggie could come to Lz.
I cannot wait to have them around...

I easily divert from the issue at hand..

Still growing...
B*e*a...